‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
For I had set the traps, no mouse will get by;
“When they go for the bait,” I said, “the traps will fly!”
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
Putting them up was a big family affair;
The children were (finally) nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of iPods danced in their heads;
And mamma in her gown, and I in my robe,
The lights were set low in a romantic mode,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
And my wife right behind me, she too dashed.
The moon glistening on the ice-covered branches,
The view out among all the mini-ranches,
Was suddenly obstructed by a large mass,
Oh, what an opportunity I could not pass!
A little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
Pulling up in his holiday Porsche,
His voice sounded a little bit hoarse;
“Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
Now, Comet! Now Cupid! Now, Donder and Blitzen!
To the front of the house! Through the front door!
We must cover every room, go to every floor!”
So up to the front door the ladies they went,
With the car full of toys, I knew what he meant.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of his big hoof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in velvet, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all clean, no ashes, no soot;
And a full sack he had flung on his back,
We shared a glance as he was opening his pack.
His eyes — how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as clean as the snow;
The stump of a cigar he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a small face and a little round waist,
Quickly he moved, he moved with haste;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He ran to his car, to his team gave a whistle,
Off they went, as fast as a missile;
But first he exclaimed, with such great might,
“One more down, a million more tonight!”